Big Girls Don't Cry

Originally recorded by the Four Seasons, the song, "Big girls don't cry" hit number 1 in 1962 and stayed there for almost 5 weeks. There are so many people that have heard this song, and sang that same chorus over and over and over again,....Why do I mention this? I'll get right to the point.

In working with hundreds of women and men with physical and emotional distress and feeling the bodies of human beings that have limited their emotional range, I see the ramifications of a culture that does not support expressing emotions and feelings. I literally can feel in the body, the effects of embodying the idea of "Big girls not crying." We have associated crying, from a very early age, with weakness. And who wants to be weak? In fact, when you see someone crying, we instantly say, "what's wrong?" as if in this "weakened state" something has to be wrong. Is weakness and wrongness at the centre of crying?

We may feel weak because when we are having a cry, we begin to explore the depths of our vulnerability. We suspend our ego, our sense of self, of who we think we are or who we should be. And for many, being vulnerable is being weak. And on the flip side, being vulnerable/surrendering is a stage 7 experience of healing which is the stage of healing that allows you to begin tap into a potential energy of CREATION!
So being vulnerable and surrendering are also code words for letting go. And all the gurus talk about letting go. And women consistently talk about letting things go.  Hmmm... a catch 22.

So instead of expressing and letting go, we stuff our feelings. And what we stuff, we lock up in our body. And as we lock up our body, we begin the process, or continue the process of disconnecting from our essence. We decrease our health, suppress our immune system, and fragment our mind.  Some of you will say that you speak your mind or talk it out, I am telling you that I have felt the bodies of people who claim to use this strategy, and in most, not all, but most cases, they are still talking about the same issue weeks and months later still having their buttons pushed. If talking worked, than you would say it once, and not have one urge to ever speak of it again. Maybe time to re-evaluate that strategy.

What does crying do? And why is it potentially important to cry when we really need to?
Crying helps to liberate stored energy, there is a sound generated that help you connect to yourself, it is a way for us to release neuological tension, and clears the mind, as well as connecting ourselves more to our core essence. Reflect how good it feels to have a good, deep cry. It is an act that clears out baggage, resets your breathing patterns, and initiates healing. I am not talking about a weepy, red eyed, one crocodile tear job. I am talking about a full boar, deep internal cleansing cry. The type of cry that would put howling wolves to shame. The type you used to do when you were just a little toddler. Not the type that gets you attention or gets others to feel sorry for you, no I am talking about the internal cry of reconnecting you to you! These may not happen often, but when they do, you will feel the effects of the release and resolution.

Take some time to discover if some of the pain, tension, or chronic patterns has a little swell of emotion behind it that needs to be connected to, expressed and released. Maybe just making a sound is enough. Maybe starting to make a sound will help you connect to a deeper sound and maybe into a deeper healing process. Maybe it will lead to a laugh or a cry.

BIG GIRLS DO CRY!